“I didn’t know anymore who was who and which one of us was more real,” said Juliet Faithfull, reflecting on her struggle with memories of her twin sister, Margarita (Mita). Juliet has total amnesia of her life before the age of nine. Her journey to reclaim these memories reveals the complexities of family amnesia and the impact of disability on relationships.
In the 1970s, many children with disabilities were sent to live in institutions. Juliet’s identical twin sister Mita was one of them. Their parents visited hospitals in Brazil and were horrified by the conditions. Juliet’s father, a British citizen, faced a choice: send Mita to a state hospital in England or leave her in Brazil. Ultimately, they chose institutional care.
Juliet visited Mita once every two years in England. Mita was diagnosed with “mental retardation” but would now be classified as having cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Juliet published a novel titled “Liar’s Dice” based on her experiences with Mita, capturing their complex relationship.
In 2014, Juliet returned to Brazil to fill in the blackout of her childhood memories. She found a guest house owned by Dona Micuta—a name she remembered from her past. There, she discovered thousands of slides documenting her childhood, including photos of herself and Mita at ages four or five.
Dona Celia, another figure from Juliet’s childhood, recalled Juliet’s father and suggested he needed help from the spirits for Mita. “I told him. I told your father that your sister needed help from the spirits,” she said. This connection to their past added depth to Juliet’s understanding of her family’s history.
Yet, challenges persist. Mita caught Covid during the pandemic, and her health became precarious. Juliet continues to grapple with the emotional weight of their shared past while seeking clarity about their family dynamics.
Juliet feels like an archeologist finding an important ancient bone. Music must live in a part of the brain that isn’t easily erased—this idea resonates with her as she navigates through fragmented memories. Her journey underscores not just personal loss but also broader themes surrounding disability and familial bonds.
